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I still remember the time when my first born used to come and drag me over to show me something he wanted.
I was doing the dishes that day and my toddler saw something he wanted and decided to take matters into his own hands – literally. He grabbed onto my shirt and pulled me in the direction he wanted to go. I wasn’t sure whether to be amused or annoyed at first.
Turns out, toddlers pulling their parents to what they won’t is really common, especially when they are 1-2 years old.
So, your LO is fine. It’s one of the signs that your toddler’s developing a way to communicate with you, which later turns into sign language and verbal communication. However, if your toddler keeps doing this without trying to start verbal communication it could be cause for concern.
Keep reading to learn more about why and what to do when your toddler pulls you to what he wants!
Why Does My Toddler Pull Me To What He Wants?
Often called hand leading, this gesture by most kids shouldn’t raise a red flag, but you should keep monitoring how your child develops communication skills over time.
Also Read: Toddler Pretends To Be Hurt
Here are some of the reasons why toddlers pull their parents towards what they want.
To Get The Attention Of Parents
Toddlers who are yet to develop verbal communication use gestures to communicate with adults and it’s a known fact that toddlers constantly seek their parents’ attention more than anybody else.
Since they are unable to speak, they use gestures and other nonverbal communication methods to get your attention. You should only worry if your baby keeps doing this when they’re over two years old.
To Get What They Want
Obviously, the most common reason your toddler is doing this. Plus, if they get the results they desire by doing something, they will try to repeat it, hoping they’ll get the same result.
For example, if your kid had pulled you towards the refrigerator and you then gave them an apple, their favorite food, they would probably drag you to the refrigerator again when they want an apple.
Also Read: Toddler Ate Apple Seeds
Whenever a toddler pulls you towards what they want, they’ll be satisfied if you give them what they ask for. Keep doing this, as it’s an easier method of communication for them than other more sophisticated gestures and signs.
And maybe the next time the do it, you can teach them some words related to the action. Toddlers are great learners. I am sure your kid will follow you to develop verbal communication if you help them learn.
Meaningful Communication
Although it can get annoying sometimes, your toddler pulls you towards what they want, as that is their mode of communication with you.
They are yet to develop sophisticated communication skills, body movements, gestures and facial expressions. Making noises is the easiest method for them to interact with you.
In early childhood teachings, these are known as pre-linguistic gestures that later help the child develop more sophisticated communication skills.
That Is The Only Thing They Know
Your baby pulls you towards what they want because that is the only thing they know to fulfill their needs.
This happens mainly if your child hasn’t been introduced to words, gestures, or other signs yet. Therefore, you must introduce new words and gestures to your kids daily once they are ready to learn them.
Generally, after 18 months, kids exhibit interest in learning new words and communicating with you.
Has Difficulty Communicating Verbally
In some cases, kids use these types of gestures due to difficulty in developing verbal communication.
Children with some disorders such as autism, cerebral palsy and the complexities of processing their eyesight and hearing may lead to communicating with gestures rather than trying to say things out loud.
If you suspect your baby is having difficulty, I recommend you visit the pediatrician and seek their advice.
How To Stop Toddlers From Hand-Leading?
First, you shouldn’t encourage the act if your toddler keeps repeating it. As I said, kids generally tend to repeat actions when they get effective results from them.
You can tolerate the gesture a couple of times and then start teaching them how to ask for something with other sophisticated gestures or signs besides teaching them new words to speak.
Ask your baby to “tell your mommy” or “use words” when they try to pull you towards what they want. This will eventually convince your toddler that the correct way of fulfilling a need is not by pulling you towards it but by using words.
If you feel that your child is slow to develop verbal communication, you could get advice from a qualified speech therapist to help improve your kid’s skills. However, you should first meet the pediatrician to diagnose if there’s any disorder first.
FAQs
Why Is My 20-Month-Old Toddler Hand-Leading And Speaking No Words?
According to pediatricians, every child is unique from another and follows different timelines during early childhood development. Several things directly affect your baby’s development, such as the environment they grow up in, family members, and genes.
Speaking is a gradually developing skill that your child needs to improve over time with the assistance of parents. However, some children exhibit some delays in learning and speaking words; thus, they use other interaction techniques such as hand leading, gestures, and sign language.
When Should I Worry If My Baby Pulls Me To What He Wants?
Until your baby is about 18 to 24 months, they will use hand leading and other gestures to get what they want. However, if they continue to do that after 24 months, see your pediatrician and speech therapist for further advice.
Also Read: Toddler Won’t Let Me Trim Nails
Sometimes, it may be due to a natural cause involved in baby’s biological development. Still, at this point, you should seek medical advice.
Bottom Line
Hand leading can be frustrating sometimes but it can also be really cute. It’s also an effective mode of communication for toddlers.
Until a certain age, it’s fine for them to use that mode of communication to interact with you and get what they want. However, if the habit continues even after 24 months, that could be a red flag! Your child may be suffering from a disorder such as speech delay or autism, which would require your close attention and a visit to the pediatrician.
Monitor your child’s gestures and development of verbal communication over time while assisting them in learning to interact with you effectively. Toddlers can be pretty headstrong. But there are ways to deal with this behavior in a positive way.