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Finger-crossing behavior can be an interesting and mysterious habit to witness in toddlers at first. But things can become more intimidating when they repeatedly cross their fingers or when you don’t understand why they are doing it.
As a parent, you might be wondering why your toddler is crossing their fingers so often, and you’re not alone. Unfortunately, some parents mistakenly assume that their child has autism due to certain repetitive behaviors like this.
But the good news is that it’s typical behavior in young children and nothing to be worried about most of the time.
So, why is my toddler crossing fingers all the time? In this post, I’ll break down some of the possible explanations and talk about what you can do about it.
Is Baby Crossing Fingers Normal?
Babies are not typically born with the ability to deliberately cross their fingers, as this requires a certain level of fine motor control and coordination that develops over time. The ability to intentionally cross fingers usually emerges around the age of 1 to 2 years old or later as their motor skills develop.
Before this age, babies may exhibit random hand movements, including clenching their fists, but these are generally reflexive and not under their conscious control. As babies grow and their neurological and muscular systems mature, they gain more control over their fingers and hands, allowing them to explore and manipulate objects intentionally, including crossing their fingers.
It’s essential to remember that developmental milestones can vary between individual babies, and some may reach this stage earlier or later than others. If you have concerns about your baby’s development, it’s always a good idea to discuss them with a pediatrician or healthcare professional.
Babies often do weird things that make no sense to us adults, and finger crossing is normal, especially in toddlers of 2 to 3 years old, but you will start noticing your baby make different hand gestures as early as 7 months. I used baby sign with both my little ones from infancy which created beautiful moments of connection. They you tell me when they needed a nappy change or wanted more or even what they could see just using hand gestures!
Crossing fingers could be a response to something they’ve seen in their environment, a way to self-soothe, or an attempt at gaining control by using their own body movements.
Also Read: 2 year old talking gibberish
However in some cases, your toddler may be crossing their fingers as a way to cope with sensory processing difficulties. Where as this is developmentally appropriate in all babies to an extent excessive rubbing especially if hands are outstretched or flapped and accompanied by other unusual behaviour is worth keeping a record of and referring to your pediatrician if symptoms persist.
Most babies may eventually grow out of these habits, while others might find them comforting and continue doing them. This is just part of a spectrum of individuality and not necessarily a cause for a concern.
So we can assume that the finger-crossing habit of your baby is just a phase that will pass away soon.
If you baby or toddler spends a lot of time stroking their fingers, hair or skin they might enjoy sensory toys. Give them lots of opportunities to explore their senses.
BUNMO Pop Tubes
These make a great feed-back noise and are rough in texture they are suitable from around 16m
Baby Comforters
Soft toys with various textures will stimulate your baby’s senses and help them emotionally regulate
Montessori based pull string toys
These are popular with babies around 1 who enjoy the cause and effect features and the textures and easy grip strings
Why Is My Toddler Crossing Fingers?
Let’s go through some of the reasons why your toddler might be crossing fingers:
Coping Mechanism In Times Of Stress, Fear, Or Anxiety
For toddlers, crossing fingers can be a way of self-soothing in times of stress, fear, or anxiety.
In some cases, toddlers have even been known to cross their fingers for good luck! It might be a way of warding off bad energy or something else they don’t want to happen.
This is especially true if your child has been exposed to and already understands the idea of wishes and luck.
Crossing their fingers is viewed as a physical representation of good luck and can offer them comfort when feeling nervous or overwhelmed.
Learned Behavior
It could also be something they’ve picked up from a family member or someone else close to them.
Also Read: Toddler pulls me to what he wants
If you or someone close to your toddler frequently crosses their fingers for good luck when faced with a difficult situation or task, chances are that your toddler might start doing it too as an imitation behavior.
Watching others practice this ritualistic behavior will likely prompt them to do the same in order to feel secure in times of uncertainty.
Sensory Processing Difficulties
Babies may do repetitive or self-stimulatory behavior like crossing fingers to cope with sensory overload.
Kids with SPD often have difficulty processing certain sensations, such as being touched or sounds, causing them to seek out different forms of stimulation, like crossing their fingers, in order to regulate themselves better and feel more comfortable in their environment.
Note: Not all kids with sensory processing difficulties are Autistic. However, about 90% of kids with Autism experience some sensory overload.
According to research, about 5% -16% of the total population has some sensory processing disorder, but not all of them have autism.
If you believe your little one may be experiencing difficulty with their senses, set up an appointment to speak with a physician. They can provide you with strategies and therapies to help your child to process and stimulate their senses and for your to better understand how to support them. It is however extremely unlikely that a preference for finger crossing is what you notice first if your child has sensory processing difficulties.
Your Toddler Might Have Autism
Crossing fingers is also commonly seen among toddlers who have autism spectrum disorder (ASD).
This could be due to autism’s core symptom of restricted and repetitive behaviors where they maintain the same behavior over and over again as a form of self-regulation during stressful events.
Also Read: Is hey bear sensory good for babies?
However, this is rare, and if your kid is doing this, please don’t panic right away.
What Should I Do if My Toddler Is Constantly Crossing Fingers?
If your toddler is constantly crossing his fingers, it doesn’t mean they are autistic. Most toddlers have a similar episode in their life where their behavior is out of the ordinary.
Finger crossing is extremely common in toddlers of 2 to 3 years old, and it will likely go away with time.
Furthermore, suppose your toddler is regularly crossing his fingers and exhibiting any of the following signs or symptoms (and not exclusively).
In that case, it is best to speak with a doctor about the matter, as he may be exhibiting signs of autism:
- Irritability or aggression
- Lack of eye contact
- Poor or delayed communication skills
- Developmental delays in cognitive and learning abilities
- Does not show facial expressions
- Social isolation and lack of interest in playing with other children
- Lack of interest in physical contact
- Repetitive behaviors or movements (such as rocking back and forth, flapping hands, etc.)
If your child is crossing their fingers often as well as showing any of the signs above it’s probably best to get them checked out.
If your child is autistic or has another neurological difference, diagnosis is a gift that helps them understand themselves and helps carers and educators to best support them.
As a parent of two neurologically diverse young people I remember feeling anxious, worried and baffled by their behaviour, which was at times not only unusual but also challenging to deal with. We now can both look back and laugh about their unusual little habits and celebrate them as part of their difference.
FAQs
Is Crossing Fingers a Sign of Autism?
Crossing fingers is not necessarily a sign of autism. Autism is a multifaceted neurological condition which can disrupt an individual’s capacity to communicate and interact.
Many but not all autistic children process sensory experiences differently to children that are neurotypical. Repetitive behaviours can be one sign amongst many which may idicate autism.
Autism cannot be diagnosed from a single behavior. However, children with autism that recieve early help and interventions struggle less with communication and interactions.
Additionally diagnosis and support can help parents to understand their child and ensure that the child’s educational and emotional needs are met. If you’re concerned your child might have symptoms of autism, observe your child and take some detailed notes to your doctor.
Toddler Crosses Fingers When Nervous – Should I Be Worried?
No. You shouldn’t be overly worried if your toddler crosses his fingers when he is feeling nervous. It could simply be a sign that he is anxious or uncomfortable in certain situations. What’s great is that you are noticing their individual cues.
It might be helpful to notice what situations your child is in when they exhibit this behaviour. If you think that they might be nervous and self soothing there is nothing wrong with that. You can support your child to feel confident and explore the world around them by being reassuring and providing a safe and supportive environment and comforting them when they are feeling anxious.
It is important to remember that kids develop at different rates and they do all sorts of odd things as they as exploring the world around them. Try to accept your child’s individuality without worrying too much what other children do.
As a parent of two autistic children if I would say that the most important thing that your children need is for you to take care of yourself and find support in whatever form that is. If you have concerns that your child is exhibiting patterns of unusual behaviour, note them down, don’t be afraid to get a second opinion or even a third if your instinct if you are not reassured by your doctor’s opinion.
However the most important thing your child needs is your love, attention and energy. As a parent your self care is of primary importance, you cannot look after your little one and meet their needs without meeting your own, which is why support matters and why if you go to your doctor and don’t receive the support, reassurance or information you need you should ask again.
If you find yourself worrying about everything your child does, it can be difficult to recognise whether or not “it’s all in your head” or if your child needs extra support. Keep an open mind. Don’t judge yourself harshly if you find yourself worrying a lot.
Talking to an experienced family member or getting peer support from other parents, joining a toddler group, talking to a nursery professional or even a licenced therapist could help you feel more confident in your parenting.
Keep an open mind. Toddlers are hilarious and fascinating. When I was a nursery manager I really enjoyed watching the children explore their environment often in creative ways that appear unusual to adults and express themselves as individuals very uniquely and differently.
Final Thoughts
It’s natural, particularly for fist time parents to worry and also very common for parents of children with additional needs to feel more anxious. It’s possible that both are true, you might be struggling with anxiety as a parent and have a child that has developmental needs.
So don’t be judge yourself harshly if you need support for worrying a lot, or delay bringing your concerns to a medical professional for fear of judgement.
It is important to seek professional help if you remain concerned or find yourself worrying a lot about your child. A medical professional can help assess your child’s behavior and provide any necessary interventions as well as support you to look after yourself and enjoy your little one.